Ramblings of a metal vocalist
BADABING BADABOOM! HERE IT COMES!!!
Welp, you guys! This is it. This is the time of judgement. The time that all things that have happened to come to an end and bring forth amazing new adventures. The end of 2018 could not have come sooner. A TON has happened this year as far as my career goes and I bet a ton has happened for you too. But seeing the end of the year can also mean that nerves come with it along with the expectations that pretty much every human being gets around this year. The resolutions that never get completed, the motivation that gets lost... Here on this post, I will be talking about my personal 2018 journeyed the discoveries I made about myself along the way. I also go into a bit more detail on how to not lose focus on achieving the things you set for yourself for the year. There will be no judgement here. And I encourage you to tell me your goals and stories below in the comment section! :D! Let this post be the thing that motivates you to get your ass in gear and get the ball rolling!
My 2018 Journey started in August 2017 when I took a step I never thought I would...
Starting around August 2017, I saw my hair stylist to get my hair done and she told me about a way she had kept her mind in the positive and drove away the negative. She told me about how she would keep a manifestation book with all the goals she wished to achieve, whether long- term or short. And I thought is was a bunch of hoo- hah at first, but then I went home with a thought in my head, as I had not come up with my goal list, like, ever. I then decided that I would get myself a goal book just as she did and write down the things I wanted to achieve as I thought of them, as my first thought in my head for the 2018 year and beyond was to make my mindset a lot more positive and to immerse myself into making my music career an actual thing, as around this time I was struggling with 2 jobs that were pummeling me mentally and making sure I had no time to work on music. More than anything in the world, I wanted to make sure I at LEAST got a little bit done as far as building my music career from the ground up...
(YES. FUCKING NARWHALS... THE UNICORNS OF THE SEA. because they are bad ass and keep me motivated!) I was very excited to start this notebook, but I was not aware that it would be life- changing for me... This book sparked something in me that I never even thought I would experience. And over the course of the rest of the 2017 year, I wrote all my goals I could think of before 2018. Below is a post I made recently on Instagram to show you all the goals I came up with:
As you can see from eh caption in the post, I accomplished a few of the goals I had written down in this notebook. And I am hoping to accomplish more, including the new goal I added on this same day I pulled it out. But I am saving that goal till the end of this blog. I would like to talk about what happened this year and the things I managed to cross off my little list here. It was quite the ride. And it started off very rocky!!!
Mid 2017, I purchased my hurdy gurdy and waited all of the rest of 2017 for it to be built. So while this was happening, I knew to pay it off, I had to get a job of some sort since my current one was only seasonal and did not pay well. I found 2 jobs. The 2 jobs I found wrecked me. HARD. BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. I worked retail AND food service at the same time. Both my managers were NOT pleased with the other and they scheduled me so much that I hardly had a day to myself. If you flip thru the post above, you can probably tell which posts I wrote around this time, as they were very sad and depressing. Both managers also enjoyed bullying me, insulting me, and humiliating me in front of customers, but I will not go on a rant about that. This was not what I wanted at all, but writing my goals to get out of the mess I was in actually felt liberating.
Doing this cover was the most fun I had in awhile and I SANG MY HEART OUT. It actually got positive feedback too, which I didn't expect, seeing as there are not many ladies who cover Dragonforce. :P. I can actually say that the first lesson I learned as the 2017 year came to a close and 2018 began, I learned that my true passion and calling was making music and that this needed to actually become a full time career for me. Though my computer drove me nuts and my equipment was TERRIBLE for making videos, I managed to poop something out at least monthly. I resolved to dedicate myself to it despite the hardship of making time and the fact that I was dead tired all the time. After this cover was released, I had gathered the funds needed to pay off my hurdy gurdy and I received it in the mail! :D! Here, you can see me stalking the mailman and playing with it for the first time! :P!
One of the resolutions I had made for 2018 was to pick up a new instrument. And the instrument I chose was the hurdy gurdy. Over the year I have made a lot of progress, though I have at least another year till I fully master it. I have tuned it almost to perfection (I still got a few parts to mess with, as my upper notes still sound flat). I can tinker with it and take it all apart and put it back together, and I can say definitely learned music for it. It is the most annoying, challenging, and high maintenance instrument I have ever had the pleasure of learning and I know I have more to learn. Playing the hurdy gurdy has taught me patience and about how to be more proficient in tools. It even made me a few new friends, including my maker! This year in the middle of the year I made the first cover with it to test it out, which was a cover of Angel by Judas Priest. I plan to make more in 2019 when I have fully made the repairs to make the covers possible.
After the production of this cover, I knew I had to step up my game and make the covers and music even better, even if it meant uploading better covers at a slower rate. I did smule videos to make the channel more active, But I researched more on my end. I looked up metadata techniques. I looked up tags that could make the music more searchable. I made new and improved pages. And then I became more active on social media. My music began to get a little more attention than it did before and my Instagram follower count went from only 400 to about 700 in the span of a few months. I learned from this that in order to be heard, I had to work a lot harder. So I did. I sought out the help of others who were already in the industry, I got advice. I even befriended a few people along the way who have given me insight as to how I could better my music. Then around November of this year, this happened:
My good friend, Nathan Castaneda who sings for the alternative band, Valkyrie Missile, introduced me to Morgan Keeney, who is the drummer of Debt to the Deathless and a producer who is starting to gain quite the rep around our town. I was ecstatic to meet someone with this amount of talent. And we 3 formed a collaboration that would turn into my debut single, The Point of No Return. I didn't think this would go this far, but after I made an ad for it, more people started to listen and the view count soared. It hit 8k views as of Today (12/30/18) and I was not expecting it. I also gained 100 new fans from this release. I learned then that I could acieve something if I team up with people and if I just put effort into being seen. Collaboration was a challenge, seeing as we 3 do not share the same goals, but in the end, the piece was amazing and I could not be happier.
This release also taught me how to believe in myself. I am now working toward producing my EP and I am hoping to release it by Mid 2019. But it is gonna be a tough ride. I finally got my hands on better equipment to make the videos a lot better and to produce the music a lot faster, so I am hoping it all turns out for the better. but As I pulled out my book and went thru the list of goals I had made for the year, I realized that I had met a few of the goals... Which was not expected. I also got a violin, which is gonna be my next new instrument to master in 2019!
I lost my dog, Oni, the week before my birthday as well. He was my best friend and one of my biggest fans! He loved to sing with me and always kept his eye on me when I was not feeling well. His passing taught me to be prepared for anything. Being vigilant is the thing that keeps you mentally prepared for the worst. Taking the world around you for granted is never a good idea, as in a heartbeat things can change.
As 2019 approaches, I learned in this year to be vigilant, patient, and to stay driven no matter what. Thus, I am entering this year more determined than ever. So I leave you my next list of goals to conclude my personal story. <3.
2019, here I come. And THESE are what I will strive to achieve!
1. I will make more music and covers this year than I did last year. I WILL BE HEARD.
2. I will dedicate more time to practicing my instruments.
3. I will remain focused and determined and not let any naysayers get the best of me.
4. I will drive out the negative things in my life and bring in the positive things.
5. I will continue to make more goals and pursue my dreams.
6. I will stream more games this year, as this year, I slacked BIG TIME.
7. I will learn to cook even better :)
8. I will live a healthier lifestyle in an effort to fix my image for my upcoming career.
9. I will continue to strive for the best when it comes to my music.
10. I will attend at least 3 shows a year starting this year and bring home a t shirt from each one. I will also make more friends and connections in the industry so I can get better advice andlearn more.
11. I will find my audience and get to know them . I will talk to them and be the most relatable person to talk to.
12. I WILL FIND MY BAND. AND THEY WILL BE BADASS. lol
13. I WILL PERFORM LIVE SHOWS THIS YEAR.
So. Now that you have heard my story, there is the question of how YOU will face the new year.
Now for the real reason I have written this post. Because let's face it. No one really gives a shit about my year. Now we move on to YOU. This year has probably brought a lot of new adventures and some major events and life- changing news or decisions you have had to make. What lessons did you learn this year? What can you take away from 2018 to make sure you are driven for success for the upcoming year? Welp, I am about to tell you a secret that I used for this year. It is a list of steps. and I really would like every one who reads this to follow suit. This is the recipe for success . The power of attraction goes a long way.
So the first thing I did in 2017 before 2018 even began was I made a goal book, which sometimes gets put away for a very long time, but it is still there. THAT IS STEP ONE.
STEP ONE: WRITE DOWN YOUR GOALS IN A NOTEBOOK YOU CAN LOOK AT DAILY!
Making the notebook was probably the most useful thing I had done for myself in awhile. It gave me a chance to write out my thoughts and to make my goals visible and able to be seen again in case I lost the motivation. Whenever I felt the slightest bit depressed I would whip it out and write something else down or I would reread it again. This was my fuel to keep myself going this year. I wanted to be damn sure my own feelings didn't get in the way. After all, even if someone has no enemies, they can be their own worst enemy. This was very much the case with me and I know there are many of you out there who feel this way as well. You are your own worst critic. And having the notebook readily available to you during the moments of doubt can really help you keep motivated. And you would be surprised what it can do. In paganism, the power of the pen and of spoken word are very powerful and I am strong believer in this. I encourage you to sometimes try to read your goals aloud to yourself when you are alone and comfortable. Reading them aloud can instill power in the words and invigorate your soul to make it happen. Which brings us to step 2!!!!
STEP TWO: MEDITATE ON YOUR GOALS EVERY MORNING BEFORE RISING OUT OF YOUR COFFIN- I MEAN BED...
Before arising from your slumber, you should take the time to ponder your plans for the day you are about to experience. What do you want to get done today? How much do you think you can accomplish? Usually I set my alarm about 15 minutes before I am set to get up and set it to snooze for 15 minutes to wake me on time. It really helps time the meditation... or it can make you sleepy. But that is nothing a cup of coffee can't fix! :D! But the real point of this is to make sure you wake up fresh and positive. Even if you are sick. Ask yourself things like How can I make myself feel better? Do I have medicine? How long can I rest for? What can I watch on Netflix today? :). No matter your mood or your feeling, it is always good to think about the day ahead. It can mentally prepare you and also make you more motivated to get more done!
STEP THREE: DETOX.... TRUST ME.
So have you ever hear the saying "detox your life"? WELP. IT WORKS GUYS. Remember the bullshit jobs I had in my story? Welp, after quitting one of the jobs, the other started to give me abusive shit as well. even going as far as to insult me, call me frumpy, tell me I am ugly and I don't belong... and I even had rumors spread. Work place drama is NOT the shizznit. And Guess what I did after my one year anniversary with the company? I QUIT. After that, I felt AMAZING. Do you know that feeling you get when you shed off a sweater you are absolutely DYING in because it is hot in the room??? THIS WAS HOW THAT FELT. You know the feeling when you get your brows waxed and you feel so smooth and light on your face??? THIS WAS HOW THAT FELT. GUYS. THIS SHIT WORKS. I encourage you to come up with a plan before quitting a nasty job, though. I had another job waiting for me when I quit. I don't want you all to be jobless. But if you can find a job you love that doesn't treat you bad, or find friends that actually care as opposed to stay with those fake bitches you currently hang out with that only want you for pot money, THIS IS YOUR TIME TO ACT. Getting rid of ANYTHING that causes you grief, negativity, and feelings of utter grossness can feel AMAZING. Detox your life. This will keep you motivated. Cause who wants naysayers and douchebags to bring their spirits down? KEEP GOING UP. DON'T LET THE DEBBIE DOWNERS GET THE BEST OF YOU.
STEP FOUR: TRY NEW THINGS. Super Cliche, but this worked wonders!
K. So normally I am no this cliche, but we are going there you guys. There power of attraction works in many ways and this happens to be one of them. Letting go of your inhibitions can be a big relief and better motivate you to get things going for yourself. Introduce yourself to new bands, make new friends. Talk to people! JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID. I SWEAR IF YOU DO SOMETHING STUPID I'M GONNA SMACK YOU WITH A CHANCLA! THIS ONE TO BE EXACT:
Trying new things also feels amazing! Unless you fail miserably at it. Then people can point and laugh at you. But if you're successful at trying the new thing or you think it was worth it, it may well be worth going hardcore into your new year with your goals in mind!
STEP FIVE: KEEP A POSITIVE MINDSET. SERIOUSLY. AND PREPARE FOR THE WORST.
By doing the steps above, you will be on your way to having a more positive mindset! It is great to have this because positivity is the greatest weapon you can ever have (besides the chancla above). Keeping positive and using kindness against those who are naysayers is good to drive them away and detox your life. It is also great to keep your head in the game. Going into 2019 with a clear head on your shoulders will make room for the new events about to happen and it will keep your mind open to new experiences and thoughts as you make way to your goals. I am not gonna lie to you either. 2019 is gonna be a rough ride for everyone. No one can predict the future. The only thing you can do is to remain on guard and carve your own path. Prepare to be hit with a lot this year. And also be prepared with that weapon of positivity. If you're having trouble remaining positive, pop in some metal music. You'll be surprised what listening to metal can do... (REFER TO THE METAL AND CHILL VLOG I WROTE PREVIOUSLY.)
2019 is the year of initiative.
I want you to go into this new year feeling like you are the boss. YOU are in control of your destiny. And you deserve to take your dreams! Go and chase them and take in every new lesson the year brings with a grain of salt. The secret to success is the power of attraction. YOU are the one in control here. Take the wheel and stay safe on this road ahead. Remember that you have support around you and those who really love you will be the ones who stick by your side during your journey. Explore yourself this year. Breathe in every breath of air as though it can be your last. Take a moment to look at the world around you. Empathize with those around you and try to be in their shoes. As you write your own story this year, remember that life can throw many curveballs at you. You just have to be the mitt that catches them. 2018 has been an adventure. I personally learned a lot and gained new insight to take with me as I continue my music journey this year. Tell me your stories in the comment section. I'd like to hear what you have experienced this year! This is a community that is safe and secure. You have nothing to fear. And as for the journey ahead, come what may. As long as you go in with the attitude that you're a badass, you got this. I know you do!
Happy New Year Metalheads! As always, KEEP IT METAL!!! If you'd like, you should check out the youtube playlist below for cool music I personally like to listen to. ;) Introduce yourself to some of the artists in here. They're pretty great!
KEEP IT METAL AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
ArwenStarsong is a singer, songwriter, lyricist, Youtuber, and multi- instrumentalist from Fresno, California. She is an enthusiast of the metal genre, and a lover of poetry, art, and writing. She also livestreams video games for fun sometimes. She is an artist of the Symphonic/ Power metal genre that is beginning to bud in the community. She recently helped found a new Symphonic Power Metal band called Sun Lay Silent.